Life is not like code. I used to think that if you do good, good happens. Logic. 1s and 0s. 💻 But feelings? They don’t follow logic.
For the past few months, I felt something I never felt before. I found someone I trusted the most. We shared dreams, secrets, family problems—everything. 🌍 It felt real. It felt like I finally found my person.
But I made a huge mistake. I thought:
Priority + Loyalty = Love 📉
The Confused Feeling 😔
I was scared—terrified, actually. Scared of losing this connection. So I waited.
- A "Heart" ❤️ reaction on my message = she cares.
- Silence for 3 days = my world stops.
- I felt lonely, confused, like a "sucker" for caring so much when she didn’t care the same. 🥀
When she finally messaged, it felt like God came to me. I ignored all the red flags because I just wanted to be there for her.
The "Free Trial" Lesson 🔄
Looking back, the lesson hit hard. In software, everyone loves a Free Trial—access all Premium features without paying.
I realized: I was the Premium Feature. She never subscribed.
What I gave:
- ✅ 1000% Loyalty – cut off everyone else, focused only on her
- ✅ Unlimited Support – every tear, every problem, every stressful moment
- ✅ Safety – the safe place for her to dump all worries
What I got back:
- ❌ No Commitment – love without a label
- ❌ No Clarity – the moment I asked "What are we?" → just a "Brother"
- ❌ No Peace – constant anxiety
Her hearts on my messages didn’t mean love—they meant attention. 💔 She loved the free trial, not me.
Taking Back Control 💪
I feel dead inside today. The pain is heavy, but I’m not angry—anger is wasted energy.
I’ve always tried to be the "Good Guy," letting people use me as their emotional free trial. But today, that stops.
Here’s what I’m doing now:
- 📚 Focusing on O/L Exams to get 9As
- 💻 Building NoteLk and BrainBlitz to make them amazing
- 💪 Becoming someone who doesn’t need a text message to feel happy
If you’re reading this… don’t cry. Be successful. Be happy. I’ll still be here if there’s a real emergency—but the Free Trial is officially over.
System Status: Offline for maintenance. Rebooting stronger. 🔒
Final Thoughts 💭
Love doesn’t work like loyalty points or software logic. ❤️
Sometimes, no matter how much you give, the other person isn’t ready to subscribe.
The best thing you can do? Stop giving free trials. Invest in yourself. Build your skills, chase your dreams, and make your own life a premium experience—no one else needed to validate it.
Because at the end of the day, you are the feature you should never give away for free.
- Rishmika Sandanu ❤️🩹